Why do Wiccanists Lurk In Bookstores?


Every time I go into a bookstore there is always some weirdo standing around in the weirdo section not really doing anything except waiting for someone to wander into their web. Once someone does, they zoom in and make some comment on whatever said person is looking at. While doing so, they always take the opportunity to show off their strange pagan jewellry and/or tattoos.

Usually these people are fat ladies with long thin hair dyed a horrendous shade of burgundy and wearing hippy skirts and peasent blouses, or skinny no shoulder almost-men with little Satan beards and chains on their wallets. Both sexes wear canvas high-top runners and have visible body piercings to show how cool they are.

Once they have chosen their victim and impressed visually upon them the fact they are Wiccanists, they will begin to "educate" their targets on how the book they have in their hand was written by fluff-bunnies and to get the real truth they must buy the book that the Wiccanist recommends.

They will also explain how they are the High Priest/ess of a coven and that the book store is actually considering hiring them to purify the weirdo section. They will give the by now terrified customer a flyer about some upcomming weirdo festival and/or convention and their card which simply contains their StrangePaganName and their web url, maybe with some lame slogan or motto printed smearily across the bottom.

Why do they do this? Are they the anti-JW's? The BW's? BookstoreWiccanists?

I don't even go to bookstores that serve coffee anymore. It's just too weird for me.

Has anyone encountered this?

Comments

AnnieAngel said…
I bet you know just the book to educate me too, don't ya?

LOL!

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