It's Winter Again
So dude is cutting the last of the tile for the floor and then he's going to lay it. He'll come back another day to finish the tile on the walls. I'm amazed at how the bathroom is turning out, I've really outdone myself this time. I guess it's time to start thinking about where I'll be going when I leave here. I know that I'll be going to Cancun to stay with my friends for a few months, and I'm not going to look any further ahead than that. I'm going to party my ass off and have fun for a change. I'm going to surround myself with friends who love me for who I am. And if someone doesn't like me, oh well, that's their problem. I'm finished with apologizing to people who treat me badly. I'm tired of being humiliated by people who say they love me, by people who say they love me but who seem to take great joy in using what they know about how I've been hurt in the past to mimic the same behavior just to hurt and control me.
I'm better than that, right? I'm smart, I'm attractive, I'm funny and I'm fun to be with, I know that is true. It's gotten so bad, the way I view myself. I actually apologize to people who lie to me. :) I take the blame for everyone else's bad behavior and I really think that I'm half insane from trying to figure out why I'm such a horrible person, when I'm not. I'm a good person. I'm kind and giving and I help people if they need it. Why the fuck do I let people treat me as if I'm crap???
Any brilliant answers out there?