Mail Bag

Dear Annie,

Ever since my Husband left us, I've felt abandoned by love. I seem to exist on two levels, the level that society sees me as, a good mother and loving person, and the level on which I see myself, unwanted, unloved and a failure. I feel such an emptiness inside, an aching emtiness that nothing can fill, not my children, not my friends, not anything. I really don't know who I am anymore. Lately at night I've started going for drives after the kids are in bed. I drive along the hiway for miles, stopping in each town for fast food. I live in fear each day that I'm going to do it again, and I promise myself I won't. But after the kids are asleep, the house seems so empty, and I don't know what to do with myself except cry. I pace the rooms, I look in the closets for what, I don't know. Eventually I grab the keys as if it's not me doing it, as if I'm watching myself from across the room, and I get in the car and drive.

Sometimes I think I'll just keep driving, just go away to where no one knows me, no one knows how much of a failure I am, I'll drive until I hit the ocean and then, I don't know....I'll dye my hair, I'll get a job as a waitress, I'll fall in love with a stranger at sunset, sitting in a small cafe....I'll be myself. But then I remember the kids and I feel so horrible about even thinking these things that I take the first exit and start eating. I'm gaining a lot of weight Annie, people have been noticing. I know I need help, please, Annie, help me to help myself.

Hiway Mom

Dear Hiway Mom,

First, here is the (((hug))) you so desperately need.

Second, you need to stand naked in front of the mirror and ask yourself a few questions. I mean, if you drove to your beach right now, if you actually had the GUTS to do it...who the hell would want to look at a fat cow like you in a bathing suit? What stranger wants to fall in love with a woman who stuffs her face constantly because she can't handle the fact that her no good piece of shit Husband has abandoned her? You want his love?? NO. You want to give him yours and have him accept it. He doesn't want your love, get OVER it.

So he's gone. GOOD! Dye your hair, what's stopping you? Join a gym. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, all you're doing is making everyone sick. You don't think people are talking about you? Your "good friends" will be talking the most. I sure hope you haven't confided your little secret to anyone but me. This is the kind of thing that can ruin your chances of re-marrying.

Now, GROW UP. You want to be a fat disgusting SINGLE mother for ever? Because that is exactly where you are heading. If you want to keep indulging your selfish desires and feeling sorry for yourself, go ahead. No one else feels sorry for you, you need to get that into your head. They don't feel sorry for you because what you are doing, you are doing to yourself.

Do NOT give that man the satisfaction! You get in shape! You buy new clothes! You get yourself together and find yourself a decent man, get a killer pre-nuptual and stop being so helpless! This time, don't be stupid and look to "fall in love." Love is total bullshit. Look for someone who loves Jesus and who understands his role in the family and who takes that role seriously. I'd look at your Church, they have social groups for just this thing. Ask friends to help you find someone, but find someone before you're too fat to walk down the aisle. No one marries a waddler.




Shai said…
I feel sorry for her children. She leaves them in the house alone at night?!?!? What if there was a fire? An intruder? Children should have a guardian they can depend on. What if they get up in the middle of the night sick with a high fever (that happens a lot too)? I don't feel sorry for her at all. Parents like that make me sick. She's thinking of her self and not them. A mother should always put her children first over her love life, or lack there of. No one is going to love someone who can't love their own children, at least no one worth while will.
AnnieAngel said…
If you don't love yourself, you can't love anyone else, including your children. She needs to learn to love herself and not depend on the love of others, which is what she is trying to get from food.

I think her kids are probably older, she seems like she's just sad and lost, not a bad mother. A bad mother would be out drinking and partying and acting the whore. She wouldn't be asking for help. I feel sorry for her to a point, but beyond that I feel disgusted that she would eat like that.

Of course, I blame her ex the most. He's likely off living the high life while she's eating herself to death over her feelings of guilt for being a "failure" to her family.

I hope he gets a hernia while humping some young slut. :D
Shai said…
I hope her kids are older. It would be scary if little ones were alone at night.
Emotional eating is a disorder. She should talk to her doctor about it.
You give great advice Annie. I'll have to remember that when I have a dilema and need help! :)
AnnieAngel said…
Thanks, Shai!

I don't believe in telling people they have disorders. Hehehe. Remember that South Park where Stan's dad had a disease? Alcholism?? Hahaha. That was great.

But if I tell her she has a disorder, she'll suddenly think she is sick and can't help what she does. She *can* help it, but she has to learn to be strong.
Shai said…
Good point Annie. I hate to see people using excuses not to change. I used feeling sorry for myself as an excuse for a long time not to quit smoking. It was lame.
AnnieAngel said…
I'm glad you quit! :)
Shai said…
Me too! I would never go back. I feel so good now. Over eating is the exact same thing.
AnnieAngel said…
I bet you feel better. And smell better too! The only thing worse than smoker breath is coffee drinker breath.
Shai said…
I don't drink coffee either! I have tea breath, which smells a lot sweeter. My husband still smokes a pipe. I hate it, but everyone else thinks it's quaint or something. I want him to quit, but I don't want to nag him too much about it either. :(
I not only smell better, but I've been exercising more again. I finally lost all the weight I gained when I was pregnant,a nd my asthma is improved. Who ever said everyone gains weight when they quit? I lost 25 pounds. Woohoo!
AnnieAngel said…
Wow! That's impressive!

I hope the lady who wrote to me is looking to your positive example! If you try, you can do anything!
Shai said…
I was suffering from post partum depression too. That's why I started smoking again. I quit when I got pregnant, then started again because I felt I deserved it because I was so depressed. That was stupid. So I quit again,a nd now I've been smoke free for more than nine months! If my quit were a baby it would be ready to be born. I should name my quit. :)
AnnieAngel said…
Hehehehe. Yes you should, Shai.

You could call it the Quitatz Habbitach?

Hehe, that's a groaner. :)
Shai said…
That's great! I love that name. From now on my quit will be Quitatz Habbitach. :)

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